This semester all my classes are online, therefore, I don’t have
a strict schedule to do things. Rather, I can choose when and where study and
make assignments. I thought it would be an easy semester because of how discipline
I am, but I turned out wrong. What I thought would be the best of the semester -flexible
schedule and freedom- were a double-edged sword. I have to say that I have
failed to be constant and stay motivated during the semester.
I have learned that the mind is an incredible tool and that
it all depends on how you train it. It is out nature as human beings to be constantly
challenged, and the name for it is eustress, which refers to the optimal level
of stress where we are the most productive. The graph for stress level (x-axis)
and productivity (y-axis) is an inverted U. Under too much or too little stress
our mind doesn’t function at its best. That is what happened to me. Because I don’t
have tight deadlines or mandatory in-person classes, I lack the motivation to
wake up early or study on my own schedule.
At the beginning of the semester I knew that it would be
important that I create my own routine, therefore, I decided to follow a regular
bedtime (where I go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day. It worked
for a little while, but soon I would start to “make exceptions” that became the
new norm. I struggled to be effective and started spending some time trying to
fix my situation. I tried some vacations to recover mentally, tried changing
the routine, adding more workouts, but nothing really worked. I still wasn’t able
to open my eyes when the alarm went off, instead I would turn it off and keep
sleeping. The result was a self-fulfilling prophecy, where I would wake up
late, not study enough, spend more time in other things to entertain myself,
not getting the best grades, stressing about it, going to sleep later every
day, and so on and so forth. Falling in
a small depression. I realized that, even though, people would give advises to
change my situation, it ultimately depended on me. Thus, I started doing more
intellectual activities to train my brain and boost my self-esteem and discipline.
I have to say that it has been better lately, but I still need to improve, and
I am on my way to getting there.
It definitely changed my perspective on failure. I now understand
the role of risk taking and failure in life. By using those two properly, we
can go from making a plan and set goals, and transform those in achievement and
success without the fear of failing on the way. I am now more likely to
assimilate risks and take opportunities that would challenge me and make me
realize that I need to improve.
